My Mother’s Rules

My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius Audible – Unabridged ridged
Author: Lynn Toler ID: B00L3WR2XW

In this unique, profoundly inspirational memoir, Divorce Court star Judge Lynn Toler shares her mother’s wisdom for learning to conquer anger and become immune to insult. Toler credits her mother’s “rules” for life – a life that saw her grow up the daughter of a poor teen mother and endure a husband who suffered mental illness and alcoholism – with providing the grounding for her own success and happiness. Toler shows how the mindset of “a black woman who knew how to make things work” taught her the power of knowing how to manage one’s emotional business-lessons that this book offers in wrenching stories written in spare and graceful prose. My Mother’s Rules is an unforgettable book that will captivate readers with its illustrations of how to rise above the most difficult circumstances and find peace and success in life.
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Audible Audio EditionListening Length: 5 hours and 58 minutesProgram Type: AudiobookVersion: UnabridgedPublisher: Agate PublishingAudible.com Release Date: June 18, 2014Language: EnglishID: B00L3WR2XW Best Sellers Rank: #531 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Professionals & Academics > Lawyers & Judges #1733 in Books > Audible Audiobooks > Biographies & Memoirs > Personal Memoirs #1825 in Books > Audible Audiobooks > Nonfiction > Social Science
My Mother’s Rules provides a straightforward approach to a collection of anecdotes and rules for healthier living from, first time author and Divorce Court star/judge, Lynn Toler. As the title implies, Toler draws heavily on lessons learned from her mother. She describes her mother’s struggles and the strengths she displayed in dealing with horrible conditions resulting from her poverty and an abusive background. Lynn lets us in on her chaotic upbringing with many personal real life stories to show us how not only her mother used the rules, but how she is where she is now because she applied the rules to her life’s challenges. As a judge, Lynn found that many people got into trouble because they let their emotions rule them instead of handling their emotions. Her mother’s rules are about the proper emotion, what it is and how to find it.

The book outlines a systematic way to address and deal with your emotions in a constructive way to yield positive results. While the stories of Toler’s upbringing have their value, the book’s strength lies in the logical down-to-earth advice. The rules, many of which are accompanied by their own mini-vignette, are explained at the end of each thematic chapter. Toler states these rules are the cornerstone to a healthy outlook on life. Toler directs the reader to look in the mirror and inspires the reader to become a better person. She provides instructions on how to live according to the rules. I found that some of the "case in point" however, was not always on point.

As much as I admire Toler and was excited to read this book, I found this was a difficult book to read. It reads more like an autobiography – a walk down memory lane of her childhood and her pursuit to the bench.
I borrowed My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius, from a good friend of mine. Halfway through the book, I already knew that I needed my own copy to give to another friend of mine that was going through some tough times and looking for advice. I knew that this inspirational story would put things into perspective. Lynn Toler’s rocky journey to becoming the successful adult that she is today, seems to be nothing short of a miracle when you read about her early childhood. Once you see the very practical rules for dealing with life that her mother taught, it all comes into focus. The story of the Toler family is one that each and every person can relate to in some way. My own family background couldn’t be more different, and yet the book is written in a way that made me identify with every page. Lynn’s style of writing is so easy to read that you feel more like you are having a conversation with a good friend than reading a book. This is coming from someone that had not finished any book in around 4 years. I typically read a page or two and then fall asleep. This one I looked forward to finding another 10 minutes of free time to read a little more any chance I could. I found myself quoting Toni Toler, the rules, and telling people in my circle how to apply some of the common sense I’d found in the book to all kinds of situations.

While a lot of the situations in the book were helpful to me in understanding other people, there were also points that applied to my own life and issues that I was struggling to understand as a mother, daughter, and sister within my own family. The book was a huge help to me at the time that I read it, and gave me much to think about over the months afterwards.
Judge Lynn Toler has spent the past decade and more listening to the problems of others. Currently, she is the judge on the syndicated TV show Divorce Court. She attributes her mother’s wisdom as the source of her ability to assess situations and make a fair ruling for all involved. Her book is not only a tribute to the teachings of her mother, but a resource for those needing a bit of insight on how to deal with the ups and downs of life.

MY MOTHER’S RULES: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius is a guide for those wanting to learn to control their emotions, even under the worst of conditions. This insight is shown in abundance in Toler’s book. She shares her belief that important lessons can be learned from anything. Some of the rules focus on working through problems, identifying and dealing with your weaknesses, realizing that everyone has bad times, believing in self, and living with/laughing at your failings. Others focus on the family, education, interactions with others, and even parenting. My favorite was the portion that deals with self worth. Basically, she says that no one can define you or tell you what you are and are not capable of, when it comes to your life, dreams, and goals. I loved that piece of advice, and also the first-wave rule dealing with anger avoidance and learning how to let things pass without causing unnecessary irritation.

What I liked most about MY MOTHER’S RULES was the honest, down-home feel of Toler’s words. She follows each rule with a story example and breaks down the scenario in terms which are easy to understand. Some of the stories are sad, while others are more positive, or simply common sense, but all are insightful.
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